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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569843">good things die</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanjoa/pseuds/ryanjoa'>ryanjoa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, but also not really, i am once again writing keralis pov kedubs angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:47:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanjoa/pseuds/ryanjoa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(new summary)<br/>bdubs thinks he's making keralis' pain go away but he's only making it worse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>BdoubleO100/Keralis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>good things die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i sat down, blacked out for three hours and wrote this.</p><p>back at it again with my desire to fill the damn kedubs tag. seriously!! wheres the kedubs!!</p><p>and i don't know why i really like writing angst of these two but i do... they deserve happiness but the part of me that loves angst said "no (heart)"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Good things die.</p><p>The both of them knew that.</p><p>People drift apart. It happens all the time. Even the best of friends come and go, and you reminisce on all the good times you had together, but you never go back to them. Why don’t you? Because the human cycle continues, and you change, and you meet new people. You and your old friends no longer see eye to eye, and it’s better to recognize that and part ways than to try and force yourself into a life you no longer have a place in.</p><p>So the best thing to do, Keralis thinks, is to leave Bdubs with good memories while he can. Before he does something he regrets.</p><p>He looks out the window.</p><p>The sunset is blue and orange today. That’s all he bothers to observe. It’s normal, that’s how it looks every day, but it feels special tonight. He sees himself in the orange, in the sun as it dips below the horizon. He sees Bdubs in the blue.</p><p>The sun will rise again, he thinks. And if he sees himself in the orange of the sun, he knows this upset he feels will pass, and his cold hands will touch warmth again. He has to believe in the coming of summer.</p><p>If Bdubs is the blue, then Bdubs will turn to the black of night. But night, as much as she thinks she rules the Earth, succumbs to the day, and Bdubs will wake anew, bright with the rising sun of dawn. He will be like the day, blue, and happy.</p><p>(<i>Keralis’ favourite colour is blue.</i>)</p><p>One last time, they agree to make a sunset together. To say goodbye, to say thank you, Keralis doesn’t know. But he agrees.</p><p>Keralis will be okay with one last time, he tells himself. He won’t cling again. He knows Bdubs has fallen out of his grasp, and that it’s now out of his control. There’s no saving this relationship.</p><p>But when he crawls into bed that night, when he lays on top of Bdubs and kisses him, his lips feel like they’re burning. His throat closes up, and he knows all too well why. He tries not to think about it, telling himself that if he forgets, then the problem will go away, but he knows it won’t. He can lie to the world, he can tell Bdubs he’s fallen out the same as him, but he can’t lie to himself.</p><p>He loves Bdubs. He will love Bdubs tomorrow, too, and he will love him into the next month. This, too, is out of his control.</p><p>They kiss again. Another kiss that makes a fire flare up in Keralis’ lungs, and he tells himself he’s strong. He tells himself that he won’t cry.</p><p>(<i>He will cry, actually. But he won’t do it now.</i>)</p><p>He has to remind himself that he should be happy, that he should be glad that Bdubs is here with him right now when he won’t be tomorrow, when Keralis will still love him. This last night should be a blessing, he thinks, though it’s turning out to be more of a bad reminder that Bdubs gives nice kisses.</p><p>They kiss — and it’s nice — and they strip, and Keralis takes his bare hands and he explores Bdubs. No, he doesn’t just explore him, he memorizes him. He lets his hands wander the full expanse of his body and trace each one of his scars and imperfections, and Bdubs lets him do so. Keralis can’t help but wonder why. <i>Do you pity me?</i> he wants to ask, because he pities himself, and wouldn’t be surprised if Bdubs did as well.</p><p>Bdubs gives him a frown — Keralis figures he’s mirroring his own expression — and holds his face. Keralis sees his lips begin to part and almost tells him not to speak.
</p><p>“I’ll miss you too,” Bdubs tells him in a whisper.</p><p>Keralis doesn’t pull away from him and scream, though he wants to. He doesn’t even flinch. Throwing a fit would take too much effort, he tells himself, more effort than what he has to give. He just meets Bdubs’ eyes.</p><p>Lips meet lips again, and Bdubs runs his hand through Keralis’ hair.</p><p>Keralis doesn’t like this kiss. Its foundation is a lie. Bdubs won’t miss him, he knows that for sure, and if he does, he won’t miss him in the same way Keralis will miss Bdubs. Bdubs won’t experience the same painful heartache, in fact, he might not experience any at all. Keralis, though, will cry himself to sleep. He will cry himself to sleep again and again until his tears run dry, until instead of falling asleep to the sound of his own sobs, he will wake up to the sound of nothing but a ringing in his ears.</p><p>Bdubs kisses Keralis, and Keralis doesn’t like the kiss, but he doesn’t pull away. He lets Bdubs hold him close, and Bdubs holds Keralis like he cares about him, kisses him like he cares about him, looks at him through half-lidded eyes like he cares about him. Like he hadn’t lied to his face just now. Keralis almost can’t stand it, and tears are threatening his eyes again, but he’s strong enough to fight them back and to keep kissing Bdubs.</p><p>Eventually, they’re laying side by side on their backs. They’re not touching.</p><p>Tonight was fine, Keralis decides. And if not fine, then it was terrible. Bdubs is probably already asleep, he figures, but he doesn’t want to check.</p><p>He looks out the window.</p><p>It’s pitch black. There are no stars out tonight.</p><p>Maybe he and Bdubs are the sunset, he thinks. Maybe Bdubs is the ocean, his waves crashing into a beach of orange sand. Maybe Keralis is a sheet of copper, with blue patina forming on his surface.</p><p>But there’s one thing he knows is true, one thing he doesn’t have to ponder ‘maybe’, and it’s that good things always die.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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